Mad Beard Science

The mad scientist character is as familiar a stereotype as there is in the world of fiction. Movies, television shows, and comic books feature mad scientists all the time. But while watching yet another mad scientist try to destroy yet another city today, I was struck by a realization which had never occurred to me before. Have you ever noticed that, while intellect and scientific insight is often associated with bearded figures like Charles Darwin, mad scientists never seem to have beards? My newly formed theory is that when a man of science is deprived of the ability to thoughtfully stroke his beard while he ponders the results of his experiments, the psychological strain becomes too great for him and he is driven mad as a result. The lesson is clear. If you are a male scientist and you wish to remain sane, play it safe: grow a beard.